For many decades I heard the term resilience.  I understood it to be every time you get knocked down you get up so you can get knocked down again.  Only in the past several years have I heard a more logical explanation of what resilience is.  It is the ability to get knocked down, but during the process of getting back up, you take time to reflect, see what lessons that knock down has to offer you. 

If you just keep getting up and don’t take time to reflect, understand, learn, and grow from it, you will just keep getting knocked down over and over and keep wondering what happened as you sit on the ground again.  Trust me, I spent a lot of time on the ground wondering why I kept getting knocked down.  I did not see for some time that I was making the same decisions and doing the same things and expecting different results.  I believe that is what some people call insanity.  

The formal definition:  Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back in the face of adversity, challenges, or stressful situations. It involves maintaining mental and emotional well-being during difficult times and recovering from setbacks.  As you may notice it does not include those critical steps of reflecting, learning  and growing.  Just keep getting back up as life gives you blows.  It does mention maintaining mental and emotional wellbeing.  Well how to you keep that intact when the hits keep coming.  It naturally gets you down over time.  Some people the third time, some people it takes 10-15 times before they really start to break.  

Building resilience involves various techniques, such as:

1. Positive Thinking: Focus on positive aspects even in challenging situations.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practices like meditation and deep breathing can help manage stress.

3. Social Support: Cultivate strong connections with friends and family for emotional support.

4. Problem Solving: Develop effective problem-solving skills to address challenges proactively.

5. Adaptability: Embrace change and be open to adjusting your plans when needed.

6. Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding during tough times.

7. Maintaining Perspective: Keep a balanced view of situations and avoid catastrophizing.

8. Physical Health: Regular exercise, proper nutrition, and sufficient sleep contribute to overall resilience.

9. Goal Setting: Set realistic goals and break them into manageable steps for a sense of achievement.

10. Learning from Challenges: View difficulties as opportunities for growth and learning.

In my opinion number 10 should be up in the top 3.  If we don’t learn from these challenges and hits, we will find it hard to stay positive, eat healthy, exercise, problem solve etc.  The more you learn and understand why these patterns keep repeating and have a plan for reflecting on the situation, plan changes, testing those changes, and continuing to learn and grow and adjust as needed.  

If you find that you are in this situation where you keep getting knocked down and need support to explore and gaining insight into why this pattern keeps repeating and developing a better plan moving forward, please reach out to us for a discovery call.